His entire opinion on someone is based on how successful they are, and he has his own definition on what being successful is. He stopped offering help to my older brother because he didn't like the jobs he was holding and thought he was being "lazy" in regards to getting his band going strong. He essentially disowned my younger brother because he's morbidly obese and isn't currently doing anything to be healthier. He even blamed him for my moms heart attack last year and told him so in an email.
Since I'm the only one left that still lives near him, I've still had to keep talking to him and keep things civil. For the last year things were getting better between us. He was happy with what Cody and I were doing with our lives and freely helped us if we got in a pinch (this thoroughly pissed my mom off since he's not giving a penny to my brothers). After getting serotonin syndrome last week he even said I could wait on driving until I got the anxiety under control. Since he was pushing me to drive, it was the main reason I was looking for an anti-anxiety. I guess he feels partly responsible for me ending up in the hospital and almost dying.
Last night he called me. Even with a solid year of good interactions with him seeing that he's the one calling still gives me a pit of dread in my stomach. He decided to reaffirm why I get it.
Apparently he was talking to Cody while I was asleep in the hospital about how I should get more schooling/training to "broaden my job opportunities". He tried to claim that Cody agreed with every word he said (he didn't). His current obsession is that I should look into becoming a veterinary technician. Not a vet, but a vet tech. The biggest problem with talking to him is that it never occurs to him he has inaccurate information. He assumes he's right and I'm wrong.
It'd be another 2 years of college to just get an associates degree. And for what? I'm sure it'd be sooooo helpful for me to broaden my saturated job market skill with another saturated job market skill! Even the job market for full blown vets is overcrowded, you have to be super special to get a job in either field.
He has no concept of what a vet tech actually does and severely overestimates their pay. He tried to say I'd earn more money as a vet tech than a field ecologist.
Oh really? A field ecologist makes an average of $35,000 with possibilities for senior experts/researches to make $70,000. A veterinary technician makes and average of $28,000 annually with starting pay being closer to $18,800. It's possible to make $40,000 a year with tons of experience and training but it's not likely. Cody's job alone is jumping to a $46,000 per year salary in two months.
On top of all this is the fact that I don't even want to be a vet tech!!! I'm just not interested. I studied Ecology because I wanted to work with wild animals and help make their habitats and ecosystems better. Being stuck in a vet's office all day is the last thing I want to do.
I really hate being told what I should do with my life. Probably because all of the "advice" that I've ever gotten has been in the opposite direction to what I wanted. I'm on my own now. For fucks sake I'm 24yrs old! Cody and I talk all the time about what our future plans are. I already have a life path set up and am working to make it happen.
What really pisses me off is that he gets upset when I'm not agreeing with him. "I'm just trying to help." Well I never fucking asked for help did I? I know all he's ever wanted were successful children set down in their lives by their mid-twenties (well he never actually wanted kids....). But that wasn't me. I had classmates like that. They started and lead environmental programs for the school, they did multiple internships before graduation, and they did a senior thesis project that meant something and earned awards (no seriously, this one girl earned every fucking award given out that year along with the thousands of dollars in prize money).
But that wasn't me. I could barely handle going to classes and working a part time job. I spent my entire college life suicidally depressed, even lapsing back to cutting on a few occasions.
And now my same anxiety/depression issues have me jobless relying completely on Cody for support. I missed the sign-up date for the zoo internship and getting a driver's license is a total impossibility right now. Every time I talk to him I feel like a failure. I've never met his expectations and I'm never going to. I'll be my own version of successful, not his.
I'm cutting him out of my life as soon as possible. I'm not dealing with him anymore.
Skin made by pikadudeno1
with love ♥
with love ♥