I had a tubal ligation done last Tuesday. I don't at all regret getting it done and I would do it again in a heartbeat but god damn does the pain suck!
The funny thing is that the pain is hardly from the incision sites or my belly. My stomach's just sore and I can barely feel the incisions. When you get any kind of laparoscopic surgery done they pump CO2 gas into your abdomen to make it easier to see/move around. Some of that gas gets trapped after the surgery and gets all cozy between your liver and diaphragm and holy balls does it hurt!
Ever get that random really sharp stabbing pain in your ribs when you breathe for no reason? It's like that, but all along the bottom of your ribcage. I could feel the gas bubbles shifting with each breath. Because human biology is so lovely and perfect, the pain travels up a nerve and hits your shoulder. So the gas is in my diaphragm but if I move, breath, or laugh wrong it feels like my right shoulder is broken! I've barely been able to eat anything either for the past 3 days since the gas makes it feel like I've already overeaten. =/ Oh and one thing they forgot to mention. If you have a catheter placed during surgery you may not be able to pee for like 8 hours once it's out. No clue why.
I've been sleeping on the couch to make things easier (my fiance rolls over in bed like a dying bear). This morning I got woken up at 5am by one of my ferrets having a scratch-attack in her cage (they get super itchy while sleeping for some reason). I'm just about to settle back down when a dark blotch near the ceiling catches my eye. It's a huge ass fucking cockroach! Oh the joys of apartment living....
Right as I see what it is, the damn thing decides to fall off the wall and land in the couch!
So in a vicodin/pain induced haze I leap off the couch and spend the next 10 minutes hunting the little fucker down and killing it. I am not becoming another one of those "roach in the ear" stories.
So just venting while I wait for all this to get better. On the plus side having a couple sleepy ferrets with me means I have fuzzy heating pads I can pet!
Just a few useful things to have with you if you ever need surgery that I wish I'd had:
A dry-mouth rinse, listerine breath strips, and water for the drive home. You might get unbelievable dry mouth and your mouth will taste absolutely disgusting. Just keep eating ice chips/drinking something while you're in recovery. Get to dried out and it's gonna feel like you have strep throat.
And my fellow ladies, if you ever get this specific surgery done, bring your own pads. The hospital ones fucking suck!
Ok, rant over. I'm gonna go take some more vicodin and cuddle the ferrets.